Healthy Holiday Boundaries
The holidays can be stressful and impossible or a time of joy and fulfillment. Choosing healthy boundaries that are right for you can make all of the difference.
Why do you need boundaries?
Boundaries allow you to be your true self
Boundaries create a separateness that allows you to have your own feelings, make your own decisions, and know and ask for what you want without needing to please others.
Boundaries are a form of self-care
Healthy emotional boundaries mean you value your own feelings and needs, and you're not responsible for how others feel or behave. Boundaries allow you to let go of worrying about how others feel and places accountability squarely with the individual. Boundaries also keep you from overextending yourself. You can't take on every project, work every shift, or be on every committee you're asked to join. Boundaries mean saying "no" to things that don't align with your priorities.
Boundaries create realistic expectations
Whether with a friend, spouse, neighbor, or boss, relationships function best when we know what's expected. When you clearly communicate your boundaries, people know how they're expected to behave. When expectations aren't communicated and met, resentment and anger grow.
Boundaries create safety
Boundaries provide physical and emotional safety by keeping out what feels uncomfortable or hurtful.
How do you set healthy boundaries?
Identify your limits
Clarifying what your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual limits are. Do this by paying attention to yourself and noticing what you can tolerate and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed.
Pay attention to your feelings
Notice the three key feelings that are often cues that you need to set boundaries: Discomfort, resentment, and guilt.
Give yourself permission to set boundaries
When you fear how a person will respond if you set or enforce boundaries, reaffirm to yourself that you do indeed have this right.